Can you remember the first time you realized you were constantly trying to fix things for the people you love, but no-one was helping you?

I can. I can remember the second and third times too. 

It is something I did again and again and again for all of my 20’s and the start of my 30’s. I felt overwhelmed and resentful. I was hurt that people I loved were not giving me the same attention and care that I was giving them.  It took me a long time to realize I wasn’t asking them to. At least not until I was at breaking point & there was no longer a way for them to give me what I needed.  It took me even longer to recognise and accept the ways that I was abandoning myself. 

I’d been taught that I needed to be self reliant, that I needed to be self sufficient. These were helpful lessons & gave me the drive to succeed professionally, but they also led me into unhealthy relationships with work and my closest people. After all, our bodies and emotions will only accept so much neglect!

I was sold on the importance of consent as a teenager, but never applied it to my relationship with myself. I was so bought into the idea that I needed to cope alone and hide any difficult emotions that I did a pretty good job of even hiding them from myself.

My work on self consent comes out of my experience of ignoring it for so long.  It comes from a deep understanding of just how much it can hurt us to abandon ourselves. It is the work of returning home & finding ways to accept and work with the wisdom our bodies and emotions already have.